deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Download File
TXT, 737 bytes
more ▶

More from ~WhiteTiger246

Featured in Groups:

Details

February 22
737 bytes
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 15
Favourites: 1 [who?]

Views: 17 (0 today)
Downloads: 1 (0 today)
[x]
What I am about to
Tell you is true. There is
Not a shred of doubt in
This voice. If you look
Away from the world of man,
You will hear them, the
Voices anyone listens for.

Voices of the Earth; they're
Always there, if you
Choose to listen, The giggling
Of the gentle brooke, the soft
Whisper of the wind, the
Strong silence of the
Mountain, the cackling of
Flames, and the unheard
Voices of the unbelieved spirites
That walk this Earth.

Even science cannot
Comprehend theses voices.
Because, there is no need to.
:iconwhitetiger246:
It's true, you know. I've heard them.
Add a Comment:
 
love 0 0 joy 3 3 wow 0 0 mad 1 1 sad 1 1 fear 1 1 neutral 0 0
:iconshadowsoflosthope:
I sense little purpose or theme in this poem, and it lacks flow from the improper sentence structure and punctuation
Reply
:iconwhitetiger246:
Mood: Annoyed ~WhiteTiger246 Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Not every poem needs a purpose. And, I hate to tell you this, but there is a purpose; but I guess dense people, like you, can't see it. I feel sorry for you. :no:
Reply
:iconshadowsoflosthope:
... hmmmm i'm sure insulting me makes your poem better, and helps you a lot more than constructive criticism could. And sure a poem could lack a purpose but majority of the good ones have well-thought and beautifully written purposes and themes that resonate with everyone who reads it even dense people like me.
Reply
Hidden by Owner
:iconwhitetiger246:
Mood: Hurt ~WhiteTiger246 Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Dude, i'm not insulting you. :cry: I wrote this because, I hate people take this world for granted, in case you haven't noticed. I pisses me off a little. I wanted to write something to show people that this world has a mind of its own. I know I sound like some earth-freak, but I really don't care. I, actually, have to thank you; you're my first negative comment. If I want to be a writer I know I'm going to have to get used to it. So, thank you. :meditation:
Reply
:iconwhitetiger246:
~WhiteTiger246 Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I sound crazy, don't I?
Reply
:iconshadowsoflosthope:
you don't sound crazy ;P , i understand your sentiment entirely just when i read your poem there were some faults within the writing i thought i should tell you about so you could improve yourself. The biggest one i found was no emotional theme to your poem. it was obvious you were talking about your love of the Earth (i love it too) but the poem just wasn't impacting.
Reply
:iconwhitetiger246:
Mood: Questionable ~WhiteTiger246 Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I thought it was a little monotone when I wrote it.
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: